Roy Masters
The worst move we can make when we are anxious and self-conscious is to do something about it. It is precisely what we do that makes us worse! Doing something implies repressing, expressing or otherwise making ourselves look and feel better than we really are.
Doing something also implies escaping from the Truth of the present moment. It is in the present that we respond improperly and fail. It is in the present that our faults grow and are revealed to us. It is in the light of the present moment that we feel shame, inadequacy, guilt and fear.
That is why it is so important to respond to the Presence within. That Presence holds the present moment still enough to make you sufficiently sorry to live according to the principles of that Light.
Evidence that you have learned to respond to what is right is the patience that never fails when tried. Evidence that you have not learned is your impatience. Impatience shows that our soul is not yet committed to the Light.
Impatience is made of the animal energy of pride that always drives us to do what we will later regret. With a right motive, you can see in each moment your impatience and all the faults that grow out of it. By seeing, you can then repent and change the way you respond.
Unhappily, people do. They are always running from the Eternal Presence that shows the present moment for what it is. The ego, seeking a sense of omnipotent consciousness without conscience, is forced to sink down lower and lower into the sensuous world to escape the knowledge of its growing ugliness as revealed in that light.
So we grow old and ugly, and finally die because we strive to exist alone as supreme consciousness. If we could manage it, we would be like God—without beginning or end. Playing God, we would have nothing to fear; we could be guilty of nothing since we would ourselves be the undying standard that judges good and evil.
"The minds of ambitious men are always emotionally active. The seeking, conscious mind is by nature quiet and passive"
But be still long enough and you will discover what you are really like. You will encounter another God besides yourself and will see your folly, wickedness and the coming doomsday.
For this reason, you escape the present moment. You always do something to "correct" the awareness that there is something wrong. That "doing something" is motion, a growth in the wrong direction, which is stimulated by the evil that encourages ambition.
When you feel anxious, don't panic or run. Stop! Look. Wonder why.
And then you will begin to see what you were trying to run from and why. It was the Truth you were eluding, so you would not have to see what was wrong in you.
The minds of ambitious men are always emotionally active. The seeking, conscious mind is by nature quiet and passive, and thereby is receptive to understanding, grace and meaningful change.
The faults that have formed because of wrong reactions require another wrong reaction to hide them from view. For example, someone upsets us by a snide remark and we react; later we are upset again when we recall how foolishly we react wrongly in the present only to run from the knowledge—and that escape requires the energy provided by more wrong reaction!
There is no rest unless you are willing to face your faults. You may desperately need rest, true—but your restless, running ego needs the escape more.