Your Private Dictator

Roy Masters

In its imitation of God, the victim ego is both king and judge, flourishing and growing on either extreme of love or hate. Being loved and loving the lover is the king ego-trip.

The judgment side is exercised when someone provides you with a hate-offering by treating you unkindly. You can be made to feel very superior indeed to the wicked person who triggers your judgment. 

Thus, psychopaths can be twice as effective through being cruel one moment and affectionate the next. The psychopath who initiates the love/hate responses is the tempter, gaining power by reason of the victim’s fall.

Temptation is the cause, and response is the effect. And by making you respond, the effect for them is power. 

The effect of response for you is a high (which is really a failing). But, while responding to temptation causes your ego to swell with pride, it also throws you into internal confusion and conflict with God, whose position you have usurped.

Therefore, guilt is formed, driving you to need more love from the teaser in order to forget the guilt and psychological confusion caused by the last encounter; you become addicted to being loved in order to assuage the guilt of being loved.

Mysteriously, you cling, yielding power to wickedness as it gives you approval. 

You will do anything to get that love; you will give yourself, your identity, your very soul for approval. Once you begin, you cannot stop. The more wrong your ego becomes, the more you need reassurance that you are not wrong, and all that demands more lie-love which leads to more guilt, more craving for love and yielding to hypnotic intrigue, which then sets you up to hate.

If you are rejected, you tend to fulfill yourself with hate and judgment; if you are accepted, you eventually become miserable and hateful too. 

"Temptation is the cause, and response is the effect. And by making you respond, the effect for them is power."

The craving for love is like a vital need for life, and it is—the life of the failing ego. However, to escape one psychopath, you must attach yourself to another who, by helping you feel good about yourself again, makes you need him in a worse way:

All your energies are siphoned off by the people who provide for false ego-security by entertaining you with the love/hate experience. And you tend to be very protective toward those people, groups, systems, corporations or whatever—you rally around them as if you were defending your own honor. 

Those who lie-love you in this fashion rob you of the life of your own root system within by displacing your true Godself, and slowly but surely they smother the life out of the real you with false concern for your false well-being. No one is ever as obliging as he appears to be, for you must pay the piper for the security of your pride with compulsory service.

Servitude (loyalty, in your eyes) feeds the wickedness of the system under which you exist and encourages it to reward your weakness with a brownie button, as if that weakness were virtue. So what starts out to be a friend, loving you and catering to you, one day emerges as what it was all along—a fiend, taking advantages.

When they appear as fiends, they have “value,” too—you can then use their wickedness to feed the need of your king-ego to know itself as God through judgment. 

Your private dictator is not free either, because he becomes dependent upon your servitude and addicted to dredging up from hell fiendish ways to tease you with love and hate to sustain him in his parasitic existence. 

Like all ego-tripping psychotic dreamers, you find yourself cast in the role of loser, which forces your guilty ego to cling to emotional love/hate experiences in order to avoid awakening to the awful truth about yourself.

The truth is: you are not good and wonderful as you like to think; you are instead a weak, sniveling, treacherous coward—a slave in someone’s private hell. You love evil’s love and you love to hate it, too. Both your love and your hate give it power to become meaner, to provide judgment food for you to live on in your fantasy.