Are thoughts speaking to you inside your head as a demanding parent shouting orders, and do you still conform to this now inner presence, as might a child with a cruel authority? Until you find the truth that sets you free, this voice will continue nagging, utilizing past guilt and the fear of punishment, as the ever-present command and control.
Adopting this voice as your very own thoughts and belief system is a foolish "self" deception. This “self” is not you; it is a parent/sibling phantom identity feeding a legion of childhood traumas.
Through many generations of controlled and controlling people it came, with many choosing the victim status rather than that of the tormentor. Fomenting resentment is a dangerous trap, locking you into the subservient role, the only other "choice."
Inside, two forces are in conflict, one is a mental voice of language, loaded with the programming of a child's obedience to authority. The opposition is the wordless word of conscience. It is time now to do what you could not do before, that is to say, transfer your allegiance back to the wordless word in your heart.
Dropping resentments effortlessly dissolves any programming; the first resentment is towards the tease that lives in your mind; the second with look-alike people, places and things.
Naturally, you do not wish to become like what you hated, but because that is exactly what is happening there evolves a strange addiction with resentful struggles. The only sense of self-worth you have ever known is rooted in a perpetual conformity or rebellion against all authority. That authority still goads you from that other place…now at home inside your head.
A hate object is needed because resentment has become a necessary evil…a sustaining food for the false core of worth and loyalty. From the guilt of hate springs misguided love, and then presents itself as a loving and devoted person, when in reality it is only a slave.
Between the stimulus (the tease) and your response, there is a holy space. Here lies the freedom to choose new responses that will shape your new destiny. Unfortunately, emotional upsets block this blessing from coming through, advancing the cause of disease and suffering.
As a little child, you once knew how to be carefree; to move and have your true being, but cruel love stole it away. Others now live through you...as you.
The real you reading this should be grasping the fact that you no longer need to function from the malevolent spirit implanted in language; the silent cognition of what you are reading here is sufficient to begin lifting the burden.
Lately, emotions have begun to run away with your common sense. Emotionally entangled, dark dream thoughts are always lurking. They appeal to you in those irrational moments of discontent urging you to act them out.
A lifetime of excuses has become false beliefs, leading to wrong relationships, blind alleys, hopelessness and despair. Considering this Learn how to separate from this endless loop of emotionally sustained thought.
Those without faith have nothing but vainglorious goals and dreams; a phantom’s voice leads as the hope of the hopeless.
No one can give himself faith. Nevertheless, if you will simply doubt that voice that has made you doubt what is right in your heart, it will allow faith to enter as a born-again experience.
At the threshold of reality, the masquerading self will be unmasked; fear and resentful resistance will no longer empower it. Henceforth, remain calm. To survive, it must convince you that being upset is a very normal thing, but it lies. Through the arousal of blinding emotions, it always drew its identity from the wrong crowd you thought were friends. Stand back from the refuge of thought-chemistry, for this ghostly thing loathes and fears observation.
You never were addicted to the judgment of resentment, it was "it" thinking through you, as you, and “it” never wanted you to know.
"claim Christ's forgiveness now
and pay it forward to others"
Upon your awakening, it will react as if mortally wounded. All this time, this thing was thriving on your emotional confusion and draining your life. All the more reason to be perpetually watchful; do not believe its mocking, haunting and disheartening presence. Since your frustration is its power, refrain from talking to yourself in your head lest you fall into a whirlpool of maddening beliefs.
No one can grow rightly by reacting wrongly; emotional obedience always transfers the loyalty to the tease source, allowing the dark nature to continue growing and attaching itself parasitically to your soul. It is impossible to have a meaningful life without the right response to all wrongs.
Therefore, resist not evil, overcome it with good. Resentment in all its forms, for any reason whatsoever, will continue to separate you from the good that overcomes evil.
Evil is not a person, just the same phantom thing in others, reproducing itself through cruelty, and needing a victim’s resentment to get in.
Therefore, endure cruelty and betrayal minus resentments. Hold fast to the wordless word in your heart that bears witness to these words. Be still and allow the essence of a new being to germinate through the quiet place within, revealing the redeeming Light to others. Remember, only while in emotional extremes and submerged in fantasy can your parasitic other self survive.
Fear not, you do not sin by thinking, which is to say, observing teasing thoughts and impure images flitting across the screen of your mind. Only by indulging those (familiar) delusions of grandeur and revenge, will the soul fall into agreement with the invader. That is why it does its best to make you think that the revealing Light of conscience is the enemy; therefore, meditate unceasingly to keep from such unwitting cooperation. Because sin is more than mere conditioning, as with post-traumatic stress disorder, it requires the soul's agreement to flourish.
The way to the way lies in that quiet place beyond the imagination realm. In this space, you will perceive a fraction of a moment into the future, and hence freedom from all wrong choices. The soul of the true self can operate from two places, but a parasite from only one…the sensuous realm of mind.
God does not download his mercy, meaning, and purpose into a mind lost, or escaping into an endless loop of thought.
You do not have free will the way you think. The proclivity to respond to cruel masters comes preconditioned from birth -- inherited. Christians call this "born in sin". No human since Adam has had the choice of good and evil; for us, there is only one way to salvation from the bondage that we all inherited from the first man's choice. Our individual righteousness can never be good enough.
Therefore, conflicts and anxieties, accompanied by various sufferings, will continue to bring you to your knees; yet, think of this pain as a good thing. As the first human, you would have made the same mistake as Adam, who lost his bright nature. Your choice is more merciful, not as much a choice, as the salvation from (the original) one.
New Year's resolutions never work, because, as you will eventually discover, a puppeteer is pulling the strings of your mind. The Apostle Paul realized it was sin at home inside him. So, do as he did, claim Christ's forgiveness now and pay it forward to others -- endure affliction patiently while standing firm in unswerving loyalty to what is right in your heart.
As you make this journey into the will of the Light, understand two important principles. First, become aware of any resentful resistance to correction, especially from conscience, for it has always been your friend and never your enemy. Second, see resentment as the handmaiden of a legion of judgments. It was resentment that opened the door of your mind and allowed the unforgiving seed to enter, which having no life of its own, began to feed on your failings as well as the downfall of others.
From now on, errant behaviors are no longer excusable, because, from man’s beginning, the excuse has been the friend of the fiend, with enablers more deadly than a serpent’s poison. Think of the damage you could prevent if only you could admit your own wrong and stand up patiently to the faults of others.
You will find meaning only when suffering becomes a heartfelt search. Frustration shall rule, until the conflict from foolish dreams causes salvation’s inward cry.