Roy Masters
Usually a resentful person is one who conceals and suppresses their anger in various ways. To allow this hostility to build up until you have to let it out on another person is a greater injustice.
Now you hurt others for the same reason the bully hurt you, because you could not cancel your impatience and judgment with love.
People without true identity think without reason and control. What they feel like doing seems right, and what they do not feel like doing seems wrong. All of us are driven by self-made fear, anxiety and excuses for our actions.
Your existence may be one of enslavement due to those responses that always trapped you between two wrong alternatives. You say you love your way of life, or that you love others, in order to hide from admitting your addiction, dependency, and enslavement.
The voices you hear are straight from Hell. They have been guiding you to your present dilemma, but you believed them to be originating within yourself. You may be getting the old pitch: “You deserve better than this…what are you suffering for?”
The voices may exhort you to do away with yourself, promising rest and peace. They have always lied. Follow those voices no more. You believed them only because your pride could not accept the truth.
Reality does not speak aloud, but it shines a light on every error and shows the disparity between the familiar wrong and the unknown right. It is a gentle pressure moving you from evil to good.
Once you have clearly understood the sheer beauty of simple meditation, you will be meditating unceasingly. But be sure not to add any kind of affirmation or suggestion. Just be still, and you will come to know and grow.
Your true desire should be to have a quiet soul, from which vantage you will see yourself and your thoughts and how they originate by the light of reality.
"Don’t worry or become upset. Being upset is never conducive to handling problems, inside or out"
The first truth you will see is the truth about your own errors and the errors of others. Wait now…watch your thoughts and memories as they come into your mind; don’t be upset by what you see.
The wrong deeds you once believed to be right will pain your conscience, for you both allowed them and justified them. Seeing them again will bring a good pain called guilt. Good! Don’t be upset. Bear the pain without trying to remedy it…and it will pass into salvation.
Know that you cannot change what you have become in the past. Be sorry. Desire to be better. It was your selfish, blaming, excuse-making, lie-loving, easily deceived pride that allowed the problem to grow up in you.
It was being angry at everything that got in your way that made matters worse—as if pride, aided by anger and fear, could solve problems! It was your egocentric struggle to ease or escape the pain of conscience that prevented your conscience from becoming a correction.
Struggling to save yourself not only makes everything worse—but prevents God from saving you.
First there was conflict. But in excusing yourself and trying to rid yourself of blame, you gave power to the lie. Then it became the truth to you.
Then came confusion. In the quietness of meditation, you will come back the way you came—backing away from confusion and conflict.
Don’t worry or become upset. Being upset is never conducive to handling problems, inside or out. Take ownership of your problems. Be truly sorry. For Heaven’s sake, don’t resent your helplessness and wait with patience for your salvation. What you will receive is the unmerited gift of grace.
It is only necessary to long to be a better person, knowing that of yourself you have no power over evil, nor can you change the color of one hair on your head. Put aside all thoughts of advantage, glory, love, affection, riches, and pride-power. That is how you let go and let God.