If there was indeed a first being, Adam, who began to live backwards by responding, it must have been because he doubted God and believed Satan.
Only doubt could have separated him from his maker. Our response to demands and pressures is all the evidence we need that the doubt principle is still alive and well in us today.
Our “life,” such as it is, arises from the ego appeal to our selfish nature, the motivation from the “other” spirit.
The scripture says that sin and the entire human race came through one man, that we are born in sin and must answer to its power. Ask yourself whether your predisposition to doubt is inherent.
What about the hardening of your heart under stress? The proclivity to seek reassurance from others? The inability to sit still? The only reason many come to realize the truth of their slavery to the world through doubt is the suffering it causes them.
Sadly, some never do realize it, not ever. Not because they can not, but because they will not.
The “insight” of the fallen nature rises from animal instincts, “awakened” by the pressures of doubt. The self that is thus awakened, by doubt, becomes addicted to doubt. Emotionality and overreacting support this doubt.
The doubt that made you a wrong person causes you to doubt again. This time you will doubt that you are wrong, and you will develop a false temporal sense of worth and confidence.
You sense that doubt is a sin and that makes you afraid to doubt, so you never want to doubt yourself again.
"Emotion seduces you into doubting the truth, strengthening the dark side of yourself."
The trouble is that in believing in “yourself,” you are believing in an alien self, the one doubt created. Your newfound confidence only reinforces the fallen condition. It is the same as doubting the truth again.
This is why psyching yourself up, believing in yourself, being accepted and loved by others, all lead to guilt and anxiety. It is the wrong kind of confidence, you see, as it was engendered by the original fall from faith into doubt.
Good feelings are nothing but the spirit of the lie at work. Emotion seduces you into doubting the truth, strengthening the dark side of yourself.
Strong, emotional feelings are strangely reassuring to the dark self, the only self we will ever know once doubt has overcome faith and thus separated us from our conscience.
Doubt creates emotion that connects you to the source of your sin nature, and emotion thus connected makes you doubt the truth and gives you a false faith. The result is most apparent when the feeling you are experiencing comes from what you think is love.
Can you see how resentment can alter your inner self to need/love the hate object? And can you see how need fulfilled from that wicked source might feel like love, like completing a missing part of yourself, when actually it is completing itself in you?
After you have been very upset, notice how you crave reassuring affection, and observe also how that leads you into relations with all the wrong kinds of people.
Wrong people can be very supportive indeed. In them we can find the false security we need after we have been corrupted.