You are addicted to anger and cannot function without it. Instead of moving from God’s grace, you are motivated like an animal through your environment. Animals don’t mutate or devolve in their own lifetime, but because of the sin of resentment, people can.
In the light of the moment, you need to observe the procession of faults that surface until you arrive at where they began. The willingness to uncover disturbing memories without becoming upset, or taking offense at anyone who points them out, is the first step to salvation.
Soon you will realize how little daily irritations, such as resentment to stress of any kind, produce an almost flawless illusion of having a free-will…of actually making choices.
Excitement, especially resentment, maintains this illusion of freedom – backfiring into torment and despair. Emotional upset sets aside conscience, so as to do your own thing or to forget the shame of it. At times, resentment makes you feel strong and self-righteous. Your repentance will stop the feeding of the past in the present, letting sins emerge and be dissolved by your true friend and problem solver – the Indwelling Light.
“Conditions reminiscent of the past …reinforce your troubled nature in the present.”
The stress of nature and natures’ God is never the problem; what lurks in human nature is. People, who arouse strong angry emotions, get to be in charge of cementing dangerous thoughts together, those prejudices, fears, and wicked compulsions of all kinds that connect your responses to environment. Cruel, aggravating people monkey with natural associations and indelibly imbue people, places and things with the power to stress you with a code, so tailored, that only you react to the message. Conditions reminiscent of the past then reinforce your troubled nature in the present.
Resentment, with thoughts and behaviors already established, is reawakened by common circumstances. For example, you may resent someone wearing a belt that reminds you of the beating you got from your father, so you unfairly hate an innocent person. Alas, when you do, resentment compounds your dilemma all the way back to where it began. It’s like being traumatized all over again, but worse.
In the light of this, your first lesson, see resentment as the cause of whatever it is that got inside. Whenever something upsets you, no matter what the reason, your old programming is reinforced; trip over the cat, and that will do it. Every problem established by resentment is continuously reinforced by it.
The name for this viselike grip on your soul should be post- hypnotic stress disorder; unfortunately, it is called post-traumatic stress disorder. Misnaming this conditioning as a psychological aberration hides the original hypnotic nature of original sin. Everyone’s conflict is between what they’re becoming and what they might have been. It is not too late, because you see; prevention is actually the cure.