"I don't understand why my knees are not getting any better," my hairdresser remarked as she cut my hair. I told her once more, what I have said a thousand times before. "Kathleen, you are a very stubborn lady, you have two problems that give rise to all the others. The first problem is you get upset too easily. The second one is that you get mad with all the difficulties that arise from being upset — a vicious cycle." This time she had hurt her knee in a fall, and for some reason it did not heal as it should have. Hairdressers have to stand on their feet all day, and since it was a threat to her livelihood, she did what she had always done with her problems since childhood — resent it. Patiently I reiterated my advice.
A couple of weeks later, while taking a little extra time to brush my hair with appreciation, she said; " I see now what I have been doing wrong all my life. Anger and frustration made me feel inferior, unworthy and that is what has kept me from getting ahead in my work”. Her knee got better within a few days of realizing how angry she had been towards both the pain and the threat of not being able to make a living.
A simple formula can easily explain and remedy most every difficulty. Any form of resentment towards adversary and adversity alike inserts a program reinforced by environment as well as your own futile internal struggle. Under duress, we literally hand over the emotional machinery of our lives to others, compounding every dilemma with frustration, which is another name for resentment. Once you grasp the significance of this concept, the solution is not far off.
You have heard a microphone feedback from its speaker, amplifying the volume into a high-pitched screech. In similar manner, the angry struggle with implanted impulses, thoughts and feelings, does something similar inside your head.
If this were so, one would be wise to begin the battle for your mind by remedying those emotionally charged images. To the degree that you succeed in this, the resultant ascendancy over your mind and body will diminish the vicious cycle of obedience to your oppressors. Discovering this simple reality is the main road to hope.
A character flaw, (pride) allows the stress (impatience, anger and resentment) to get inside your head. Struggling with that is lethal. Most self-destructive mind/body reverberations begin with a causive event. There ought to be a name for making oneself ill this way. Unfortunately, medicine is yet to discover, let alone completely understand, the subtle mysteries of this biofeedback type of syndrome. Overreacting with resentment is the key factor that is responsible for inducing thousands of different behaviors. Science labels the various forms of suffering from the same stress cause, into different psychological and psychosomatic categories and cures. Nevertheless, as you will see, there is just one basic cause and cure for most every emotionally induced symptom.
Because the pressures of life tend to be hypnotic to humans, any good hypnotist worth his salt can mimic most psychosomatic disorders. Despotic individuals know that prolonged duress induces strong emotions, which guarantees loyalties that will always answer slavishly to any familiar presence. A soul' s loyalty to persons, places and things is established post hypnotically by shock. There is no escape; struggle is useless, the equivalent to sinking in a swamp. Even though those responsible for such conditioned sensitivities may be dead, the spiritual and emotional allegiance passes on to others.
Whenever you hear and see events of tragedy on television, you might notice the term post-traumatic stress syndrome mentioned, along with the need for what they call grief counselors (a fat lot they can do). There is usually talk about why some are able to take stress in their stride, while others remain troubled. For most people, stress management means burying it, compensating for a secret failure to deal with life with an outward veneer of pleasantry. Emotionally denied reality, gradually become subconscious cesspools of rage. At some point, the unconscious spills over, sets aside conscious repression, resulting in broken marriages at best, drugs, alcohol, violence and disease at worst. Treating the symptoms is like compressing the air in a party balloon; symptoms simply bulge out in other places.
All symptoms are variations of one single theme – cause becoming effect, effect becoming cause – compounding the foundation event.
Because we all harbor subtle variations of post-traumatic stress syndrome, the cure requires an awakening. There is plenty of evidence of buried hostilities long before a serious problem strikes. As small things begin to irritate, you burn off some of the frustration by taking it out on others, by working hard, or talking to people in your head in an endless loop of tape in your mind, that sort of thing. Little problems come and go, but the conditioned reflex sensitivity to stress piles up.
Daily frustrations set the stage for that big event, perhaps a serious traffic accident, or the tormenting thoughts of love betrayed. At this point, the shock becomes overwhelming; causing you to become completely fixated, obsessed with thoughts towards the love/hate object. When no relief comes from the usual over-the-counter remedies, psychotherapy or medicine, you are on your own with no one to help. As you will see, not only can no one help you, people make you worse. In time, a self-inflicted vicious cycle takes its toll, bubbling up in different forms, inexplicable, mental, emotional and pathological illnesses.
To thoroughly understand and benefit from what you are reading, it might be wise to pause and see if you fit within this profile. See if you can flash on some moment in your life, when small things begot bigger ones, whence came that traumatic moment that changed you from positive to negative, from innocence to guilt, at which point life went downhill. While every person's circumstances may vary, all symptoms and behaviors share the common root of resentment. If you will try dropping moment-by-moment annoyances, becoming more patient and not taking things so personally, the connection between the symptom and your resentments will become apparent as emotionally sustained problems disappear.
Look at what you are resentful about at this moment and see yourself compounding the unfinished business of one or more events of the recent past. Guilty as charged, means you are a victim of post-traumatic stress syndrome, or more accurately, post hypnotic stress syndrome. You need now to admit that you are out of control and making yourself ill.
All symptoms are variations of one single theme — cause becoming effect, effect becoming cause — compounding the foundation event.
Be advised therefore to endure all moments of pain and suffering patiently. If you do this well, it will become the equivalent of undoing the past in the present, as for example, forgiving your father, many times removed. (As an angler, I never ate sharks because I thought of that as eating humans once removed.) One day, you will connect the dots to a father, mother, perhaps a molester. Until you learn to deal ever-presently with its symptom, it would be wise not to know about the past just yet.
For example; the frustration with an ulcer could easily represent an unrecognized resentment towards an ambitious mother's will living her life through you, one you could never please, who pushed you too hard to succeed for her own selfish glory.
How do you think you would feel if you were that emotionally driven person, laid-up in the hospital with an ulcer, unable to work, might you not feel guilty feeling as though you were failing everyone? The resentment toward mother's ambitions may very well have displaced your own motivations and purposes in life. Yet, the real cause of guilt and suffering would have long ceased being mother, rather, it would be your own infantile reactions to all women, a sister, your wife, or a woman boss perhaps. You would have added your sin to sin, a lifetime of resentments piled up and morphed into the ulcer, which began to represent the sum of all hates.
From birth, resentment originating through mother, resentment adding to resentment, consequently took the form of disease. In this example, the ulcer ends up representing the corporeal evolution of mother's sick will many times removed. Connect the dots, and you will see the inherited war between husband and wife, also morphing into conflict between nations. Look more deeply my friend and you will see certain kinds of individuals, (personally and politically) exploiting our collective failings in a diabolical craving for power.
Who can admit hating a parent? One way or another we all deflect ego awareness of our failings, and project blame on other people, places and things. This is why emotional upsets cause problems internally, and make us fixate angrily on their symptoms, all the way to a fatal demise. The disease in this story is just one example of becoming what we hate. One way or another, we are all victims, succumbing to an invisible, intangible biofeedback of death. Resentment you see is the evidence of the soul' s failing to endure with patient grace. You are bound to and shaped by the environment that connects you to the all the negative circumstances of the past.
No need to go to your past just yet, you could not deal with it if you tried. Look to the present moment, to what irritates, your wife or husband perhaps. In addition, for what it's worth, do not neglect looking at the way you might be reacting to your children, angrily acting out the role of a parent that you became by hating them for what yours did to you.
Let us suppose, as with Kathleen, that your problem is not your fault that it did not originate in a psychosomatic event, but that it had a base in an infection or a virus. Do you think that being upset with the inconvenience or pain of your suffering helps any? Is there the possibility here also, that you might be compounding your own illnesses by being upset and worrying about them? Worry is a negative faith sustained by anger with yourself and others, all of which fuels a boiling cauldron of deeply repressed bad stuff, which, when acted out, leads to that bottomless pit of woes?
It would take more than this article to explain how emotions alone can reproduce pathological symptoms that science mistakenly treats as disease itself. Therefore, let us stay with what you can identify. Should you be interested in pursuing this matter further, you might purchase the new version of "How Your Mind Can Keep You Well" that contains six extra chapters on the psychopathology of disease.
Your illnesses are like children crying out for the love you do not have. Every impatient angry response to their little irritations, contributes to all the pathology described. Your unresolved problem projects as problems with and to others. Taking your misbehaving troubled children to a psychiatrist makes them hate you more and drives them deeper into illness, because they know in their little hearts that you are the problem. Because you pay the bill, the doctor treats your child with drugs instead of you. For this same reason, psychological rehabilitation for incarcerated criminals is destined to failure, to multiply the criminal class and turn society upside down.
The implanted program becomes an identity that has a life of its own, compelling us to replicate our home lives in marriage for the sake of its existence. That is why we unconsciously react to husbands as fathers, and to wives as we did our mothers. Do you think that you are making the situation any better when you project the unspent anger of your parents upon your spouse? Your children watch and through their resentment, your miserable ancestry passes down.
The body is like that of a little child, often impatiently punished for crying out for corrective love from the soul. When your anger has nowhere else to go it turns inward, unconsciously trying to convert the energies of angry punishments into the correction from a father you never had. Unfortunately, that anger happens to be the very same emotion that gave you the problem in the first place. If you fail to see this point, you will succumb to depression, hopelessness and despair, hating the cruel world turned into yourself.
Can you see now how resentment establishes the problem, and then goes on to reinforce itself by way of internal struggles? Your wrong resistance to the external problem manifests into the wrong resistance to the internal one. Apply this principle of reverberation to just about everything that is going wrong in your life and in the world. Experience will prove that the more you become upset with your circumstance or symptom, the worse it will become.
Overreacting with resentment establishes a legion of anxiety, fears, phobias, feelings of insecurity and sleepless nights. Forgive the redundancy, but you are compounding every symptom with the very same anger that gave rise to them.
Overreacting (evidence of resentment) establishes both a flaw in your character as well as the very symptom with which the flawed character must deal. Our collective character flaws are both cause, the effect and the underlying reason for the existence of all that ever was and ever will be. This character flaw is pride tainted and sustained by its emotional handmaiden — resentment.
"Judge not lest you be judged," the good book says. The judgment of others will certainly become our own judgments. Alas, those words are more often than not, experienced only as words on a page. It implies repeatedly that our illnesses are comprised of internalized forms of angry self-righteous judgments. The sentence for which is not only miserable circumstance, but also a spiritual death. Ignorance of this law (denial) is no excuse. Therefore, suffer this sin until you face the truth that sets you free.
Finally, it is unwise to seek sympathy from others for what is wrong with you because doctors and people mostly "save" you from seeing the truth and therefore allow your life to deteriorate. Anger will soon rekindle towards all those nice people, with predictable and continued suffering. Life can become many living hells of love/hate relationships, with your friends, lovers, psychiatrists, and doctors. No one will understand how you secretly feel towards them. They may think they are curing, loving, saving and helping.
As you become sicker and more confused, everyone senses some guilt for their part of the problem, but they misinterpret this guilt (their anger toward you) in terms of your lack of appreciation. They may then come to the wrong conclusion that they have not done enough. Here they compensate and try harder to do the right thing, but what is the right thing?