As we live calmly, reacting less to environment, thoughts trapped and supported by emotion, as well as a way of life we developed when we were conditioned to be answerable only to outside pressures, are once again called to mind.
This may happen many times. You actually may relive an experience. If you re-dream it during sleep you may play the part formerly
required of you.
For example, you may dream out a hostility towards someone. Here you recognize a buried sentiment. Why?
Because, while you were not meditating, you were subject to an unseen power that moved you according to its own design, though you believed it to be your will.
As you meditate you will observe, by the light of truth, what you once justified, and thus you will become free by a special kind of knowing.
The hostilities you once needed to support your ambitions and pride, you assumed to be normal, and therefore you barely noticed them.
New understanding will change your relations in the future with people of the past, and release their hold upon you, even from the grave.
You may also dream out a scene where, instead of being angry, you are calm and patient. Thus you will know a change has occurred.
Do not meditate for oblivion. Allow thoughts to appear. Do not dissolve them before they emerge. Such a thing is possible.
Just watch and observe. Let them come. If your conscious mind wanders off downstream with them, something inside will snap you back to observe them once again and break their hold over you.
"Wait for the wind of the
Spirit of truth to provide redirection and motivation"
Once you can observe a thought without being carried away by it, you will be able to master that thought process. Through steadfast observation, you will destroy the power of each thought in turn.
While it is correct to push aside or dissolve distractions by watching them without anger or fear, do not do this with your bona fide guilts.
Observe these and bear the accumulating pain graciously without anger or fear or attempting to deal with them. Soon your past will disappear to the point of forgetfulness.
You will begin to feel as though you were just born, made anew. Babbling trivia and distractions will pour out of your system, alternating with guilts.
A level of distraction always conceals a layer of guilt. Step by step, life will lose its stranglehold, its power to turn you on, tempt, uglify and mislead you.
Your need for distraction and escape will diminish to the point where you seem not to be interested in anything. Bear this too, for a while. Wait for the wind of the Spirit of truth to provide redirection and motivation.
You may also feel lethargic to the point of appearing lazy, not able to do your work. Bear this too, as well as the criticism of others.
What you think needs to be accomplished may be a throwback to ancient ties and outgrown obligations; or perhaps the services are appropriate enough, but motivated wrongly; that is, by anger or fear.
Just meditate for the strength to do the right thing or to resist the wrong.
Upon rising, you will either find the natural strength to accomplish your task or commitment or discover that you have no interest in such obligations, which indicates that they were emotion-based suggestions, entirely motivated by social pressure, having no real value to you or to the motivators.