Learn To Say "No"

Roy Masters

Under pressure, have you ever felt the obligation to please, and the fear of displeasing, and did you also happen to notice that strange feeling in the pit of your stomach? 

The invisible force preventing you from saying, “No,” and making you agree when you absolutely disagree — comes from a special kind of overreaction.

To prepare for the next opportunity, try this simple experiment: As you read these words, become aware of your hand, either one will do. After a moment of being conscious of your hand, it will begin to feel energized — it will tingle and perhaps feel warm.

If you have done this correctly, you may be ready to take your stand and literally begin to change your future. Just as soon as you come under fire and feel the pressure in your solar plexus — make no decision. Do not say, “Yes,” do not say, “No.” Simply become conscious of your hand until it again becomes warm and tingly. As your consciousness creates that warm feeling, also observe the funny feeling in your solar plexus until the feeling — to go along to get along — subsides.

"Forgive the person who hurts you, the one you free will be you."

Now, here is the important key. As the pressure source approaches, if you watch very closely you will see resentment beginning to arise. If you give into that resentment, then you are bound to give in to the pressure source. This has always been the reason for your servitude.

With your hand tingling the way I described, observe the resentment until it fades and therefore does not overwhelm you.

Unbelievably, you do have the power to stand back and quietly watch resentment until it fades — if you so choose.

The reason why I say, “If you choose,” is that each resentment happens to represent many past unforgiving moments that you may never have seen before. Forgive from now on, and be forgiven from now on. Remember, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” 

If, from now on, you are willing to let each moment of secret hostility pass, then it will also free you from the guilt that lies behind all those slavish compulsions to please.

Catching resentments moment by moment will eventually give you freedom from all your compulsions. Therefore, become the perpetual watcher; keep watching the daily resentments that lurk behind those feelings in the solar plexus until they both go away. Then, like magic, on the other side of each experience, you will see how easy it is to say, “Yes,” or, “No,” to any demand or request, but from now on, it will be from your own free will. 

Forgive the person who hurts you, the one you free will be you.