It Is What It Is

Roy Masters

“It” is what you must deal with in yourself before you can cope with “it” outside you, and inside others.

“It” in you cannot constructively cope with “it” in others. Perhaps you already see that. Remember, one “it” always plays the tyrant and another “it” plays the slave who, through resentment, grows up from the rela­tionship with the tyrant.

The slave is hoping, of course, to evolve in his own right and become a tyrant; that is the reason for his submission. “It” patterns itself after the parent and this fact manifests itself with children.

(It is important to point out here that “it” is a big coward and that you only need to have faith in what you know is right and “it” will run scared.) 

You must learn to look at “it” in yourself calmly, without resenting what you see. That is how “it” will begin to die; and that, too, is how the real you will be born and begin to flower.

Remember, any kind of resentment strengthens the “it” nature, especially resentment against it in yourself. “It” in you thrives and grows from your resentment against the parent (or mate) in yourself, even as “it” did when “it” lived in your parent.

“It” inside you teases you to resent “it,” so that “it” can continue to feed on your energies and drive you into a psychotic state, or to live “its” life through you. 

"They want you to STOP “it” in them, but with patience and love..."

After you have looked at “it” in you, you must look quietly at “it” in your rebellious wife to make sure you don’t resent her, to make sure her “it” doesn’t grow up in you as a slave to her.

Remember, as a rebel, “it” thrives on emotional reaction, impa­tience and any form of tease or intimi­dation. That rebellious spirit in your wife might cause her to see in you—even promote in you—the father or mother she enjoyed hating in her childhood.

Even true innocence can threaten that willful, wifely “it” into becoming very excited and agitated, trying to make you think you are doing something wrong even when you are right.

The motive is to weak­en you and make you doubt yourself, to make you violent so as to have “its” way. “It” needs you to play the weak (or violent) role of the hated parent; otherwise, “it” cannot survive.

Like “it” in her mother, “it” in your wife may use sex to reduce your male authority and so produce that weak or violent father she enjoyed hating. 

You see, “it” thrives on cruel pres­sure and also enjoys feeding “its” contempt on your resentment-born weakness. This is why you must be strong and patient, and with long-suffering, bear the tribulations “it” will inflict upon you.

Be strength­ened by the knowledge that “it” is only pulling your beloved’s strings. Your beloved is not evil—“it” is. The evil “it” wants you to be impatient, weak, resentful, even violent—then “it” is justified and renewed in you.

Always remember that your real wife or child needs the strength that emanates through patience; their  real will has been smothered.

They cannot tell you what their real needs are, but I can. They want you to STOP “it” in them, but with patience and love—­with a FORCE—a NON-VIOLENT FORCE.