Resentment toward common circumstance awakens old programmed behaviors. For example, you may resent someone wearing a belt buckle that reminds you of the beating you got from your father, so you become guilty of hating an innocent person -- just like your judgmental parent was with you. And so resentment and guilt compound upon itself all the way back to where it all began. It’s like being traumatized all over again, but worse.
In the light of this, be on the alert for resentment; see it as the main cause of whatever it is that got inside. Whenever something upsets you, no matter what the reason, new programming enters while all the old behaviors are reinforced; tripping over the cat will work nicely. The reinforcement of your conditioning doesn’t even need a similar circumstance; any annoyance that arouses resentment will do. Every problem established by resentment is continuously reinforced by it.
Resentment is the angry evidence of a frustrated will. If God's will was also your own, there would be no cause to frustrate. But since you are willful and outcome-based, disappointment will cause resentment and that frustration destroys.
"forgive us as we forgive those who trespass against us..."
A prime example is a resentful mother who feels trapped in her marriage. Of course it is not the kids’ fault that she made a bad choice. Nevertheless, the children are to blame, so she turns her entire anger upon them. When hate later turns to guilt, she tries to relieve her pain with begrudging love, which of course, does not have the same effect as the joy of real love.
Pause for a moment; you will see that suffering increases at the extremes of pain and pleasure. Anger becomes the pain of conscience, as does pleasure that denies redemption. Somehow, you must find what you keep missing -- that calm eternal center where God waits. Since the reason for every addiction is the pain of a troubled conscience, it follows that were you to accept the forgiveness of God, then the pain of conscience would be instantly removed as well as the need for every kind of excess.
Permanent forgiveness requires the forgiven soul to pay its forgiveness forward, as in, "Forgive us as we forgive those who trespass against us...and do to others what you would have them do unto you." At this point, perhaps you can see that the sustaining energy of unforgiving secret judgment is continuous resentment. Conversely, the forgiveness of past judgments lies only through enduring patience. Forbear to resent daily cruelties with patient love and you and your family will be blessed and sustained in the truth that will set you free.
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