How To Solve Marriage Problems
Roy Masters believes that passion, emotion and pleasure are not the keys to happiness in marriage, despite conventional wisdom. Masters, the founder of the Foundation of Human Understanding and author of 16 books, feels that emotions, in fact, interfere with true understanding. By using his "Be Still and Know" meditation technique, Masters feels that couples can overcome both negative emotions such as stress, worry and hostility, and the need for "love" as it is commonly understood.
Masters sees that need for love as an ego need. Most often, he says, we give what we think is love only to get something back from the other person. That's not real love. Real love, he says, gives without expecting anything in return. One gives simply because it is the right thing to do. If both partners in a marriage could give without expectation, many marital problems would simply disappear.
The opposite of hate, Masters believes, is not love, but the absence of any emotion. He counsels couples to strive for patience, to simply accept each other's faults and deal with them in a rational manner. When we can accept pain without anger or resentment, he believes, we replace the demands of the ego with correct behavior and true intuition.
Masters' "Be Still and Know" is not the same as Eastern meditation. It is more accurately described as an observation exercise. You can download instructions for this exercise from his web site or order a tape recording. Once you free yourselves from judging each other, your marriage will be much more serene.
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