away with the violation, and you are encouraged to
take more liberties, both with me and with others.
Unchallenged, you soon grow to be vain, pushy, vio-
lent, and vile; I, on the other hand, appear to be sweet,
humble, and innocent by comparison with you. But I
am not innocent. I am, in reality, part of your growing
frustration and violence, even as you are part of the
problem in me. My cowardice, as manifested in my
failure to correct you on the spot, is responsible for the
terrible effect my apparent martyrdom exerts over you.
       The shock of your pressure-filled presence soon
begins to get inside me through the cowardly resent-
ment I harbor toward you. Your image begins to cross
the border of my mind and soul, even to affect my
innermost identity-the way I feel, serve, and grow. I
feel conflict with my Real Self, and I feel guilty. I feel
despair because, through guilt, I find myself compelled
to serve the interests of other people rather than my
own. I am confused because I am becoming external-
ized and emotionally suggestible. I am depressed
because I am not living my own life. Instead, I am com-
pelled to submit to your growing pressure, a pressure
that I need in order to bolster my booby prize of blame
and to feed the false righteousness that thrives on my
secret judgment of your wickedness.
       As time goes on, with both of us putting a finer edge
on the role we have chosen to play rather than coming
to grips with reality, we begin to drink, smoke, and
drug ourselves senseless in order to ease the agony of
living with the monsters we have helped each other to
become. You have emotionally drained me, so that
I'm beginning to be susceptible to disease. I have too

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