How to Survive Your Parents
Unfulfilled in this need, insecure with you and
discontented, all that remains for her is the revenge of getting to you, making you suffer in payment for your failure to be a true husband-one who would stop her with love.
Men and women are free to do good only to the
degree that they are free from the need for approval. Through caring too much, you tempt your children to take advantage of your "good" nature and are therefore powerless to stop them from going astray.
Caring too much means caring only for yourself. Such caring is not caring at all except for Number One. The man who really cares for his family, who is concerned for them, is less emotionally involved with them, so that he may stand firm on all principle, patiently, come what may. No one really respects the weak and the selfish. They are "admired" only to be used. Dare you speak up or stand as a correction to anyone whose favor you selfishly need? Of course not! All selfish people are bound to lose their freedom of speech, and eventually all their freedoms.
More often than not, we have an ulterior motive for being nice; our object is to manipulate, whether to get the mechanic to fix our car properly or to get someone to give us a job-whatever. But people aren't always fooled. The more sophisticated see through such niceness to the weakness behind it, which tempts them to take the advantage you are seeking from them.
When I said your family is expendable, it was to help you realize that salvation does not depend upon your bringing anyone around. In any situation, merely patiently hold fast-through all the kicking, cursing, pressuring and fussing-to what is clearly wise, fair, sensible
and just.
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